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Mood crash for no good reason

April 29, 2011

So, I bought a new hard drive but failed to realize that I needed to buy the little screws to hold it in place.  Stupid.  So I also stupidly asked DH to help look up businesses in the area that might sell the right parts, since my computer was in pieces.  Which led to a freakout from him, and then me feeling like the biggest fucking idiot in the world for both having the audacity to ask for help and for not ordering the parts in the first place.

It is really disturbing that my moods can still snap like that and plunge me into writing about how I deserve to die by jumping in front of a train.  Over some missing screws.  The hard drive has been sitting on the floor for a couple of days now waiting for me to have the time to install it anyway, so it’s not as though it was an urgent task that must be finished today or anything.

These little episodes make me feel even more despairing.  Will I ever have normal moods?  Will I ever be able to take tiny criticisms and failures in stride without automatically calling myself all kinds of horrible names and plunging into self-hatred and suicidal thoughts?

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From → Mental

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